Tag: women empowerment

The Importance of a Balanced Life

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Being a single mother, with 2 children, a full time job, and a business of my own… attempting to master the art of a balanced life was definitely not easy, yet possible. Not only possible but necessary. Although I have always pride myself on having beauty and brains, I never valued one over the other. I always thought it was just as important to be educated, well spoken, and intelligent as I did to maintain my physical appearance. Making sure that you’re well educated, and well groomed can be a job in itself for a lot of women, throwing 2 children, a full time job (sometimes a part time job), and a business in there too and you’ve got a whole lot of work to do!

People always asked me, how I managed to do so much. How I put myself through college with 2 kids, how I have time to grow my business outside of my full time job? How I make all the practices, and all the games? How I make time to work out, and actually put on make up and come to work so well dressed every day. Truth is, I never looked at it like it was a lot. I just did it. I got up everyday, and I did it all because I had to. I had to go to college, because I had to make a life for my children and I. I had to make every practice and every game, because my son had to see me on his sideline. I had to work out, and put on makeup, because in my mind that’s what women was supposed to do. Women cared about their personal appearance, and took the time (and spent the money), to maintain it.

Well, apparently not every woman felt this way. Especially those with multiple children. Once I entered into corporate America, I met a lot of women who felt that the only things they had time for was working their 9-5, taking care of their home, and making sure their children were fed. While all of these things are very important, I can’t imagine doing any of them, if I don’t feel like my best self. And in order for me to feel like my best self, I need to look my best! I think as women we get so caught up in making sure that every one and every thing is taken care of that we forget about ourselves. We forget to work out, we forget to put on makeup, we forget about our dreams.

I wish I could see more women not sacrificing themselves, for everything else. Is it stressful and exhausting to wake up every day and do it all? Absolutely! But is it worth it? Absolutely! As tired as I am when I get up an hour and a half early to work out, and get myself together, and as exhausted as I am when I’m up at night replying to client emails, and making updates to my website, I have to say its all worth it.

What Am I Really Afraid Of?

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A couple of week’s ago, I was talking to a life coach I’d met at an event I had gone to. During her presentation, she spoke about the her life, and her career before she started walking in her purpose.. while she was speaking, I felt like I had written down my story and she just stood there and read it for me. I felt so connected to her that afterwards, I knew I had to talk to her. During our conversation, I told her that I had been wanting to go into Professional Development and Executive Coaching for a while. I told her how everyone else thought it was a great idea.. and I had been talking about to everyone.. all the time… But something was still keeping me from acting on it..

So, she looked at me, and said you’re afraid to try because you’re afraid to fail. You’re scrared to death that you’re going to jump out there and you’ll fail. Then she looked at me and said “You need to fail… you need to go out there try it, and fall flat on your face!” I’m sorry, what?? Clearly she didnt know me well. Because if she somehow thought I was going to try something thinking that I could fail at it, she was terribly mistaken.

See, failing was something I did not take lightly.. I was always the smart one…. the girl in the honors programs, the Gifted & Talented classes, and the magnet schools. I always had good grades, and I pretty much did well in anything I tried to. When I went to work after college, I always got the great annual reviews, and the promotions.. So, maybe she was right, for once in my life, I needed to fail and… fail big time.

I thought about the conversation she & I had for a while, and the more I thought about it, the more, I wasn’t so sure if failure was actually what I was afraid of. After a while, I realized that I was more afraid of success than I was of failure.. See, I could close my eyes and invision my success.. I could see me doing everything I wanted to do.. But.. could I handle that? Could I really handle all the success and reward that I was asking for? What would happen if I couldnt handle it? Worse, if I couldn’t sustain it? I was worried sick about being a ‘has been’ before I even ‘made it’! It wasn’t failure, I was afraid of, it was the success!

Either way, I knew it was somethihg I had to get over! If I didnt get over it, I would end up being a ‘nobody’.. which is worse than being a has been! So, next time you have your dream all mapped out, you find yourself talking about it all the time… yet you havent taken steps to make it happen, ask yourself- ‘What Am I Afraid Of!’. And once you’ve done that, GET OVER IT! Because no one ever gets remembered for what they hoped they did! – JW